Thursday, September 11, 2008

Rock On

रहिमन धागा प्रेम का, मत तोड़ो चटकाय।




टूटे से फिर ना जुड़े, जुड़े गाँठ परि जाय॥




When i first heard/saw promos of the movie, to tell u the truth I wasn't very enthralled. I thought..ok pbly another 'chicklit'. And in my nomadic existence, i don't have the privilege of watching too many promos. Thus, the disasters of Elaan, Karam, Lucky..I know some of u don't even know these movies!


Anyway..during one of the blessed glimpse of the promo..a phrase caught my eye..Live your Dream..and the lyrics..Zindagi milegi na dubara stayed with me. Owing to recent happennings in my life, sentiments overpowered me and my aching dream to dance proffessionally resurfaced. I figured ek bar toh dekhni hai. Now toh I have seen the movie twice..of course the motivating factor was Farhan Akhtar..gawd! how hot can one be!.. :P. But i will try and limit my musings to an objective view of my emotions bt the movie. :)

The movie of course runs at its pace, taking time to familiarize the audience with each character of the movie. The investment banker, the ameer baap ka gujju beta who is the joker of the gang, the sentimental guitarist and the pragmatic freelance artist. 4 different people of contrasting personalities, the best buddies..one common thread..passion for music.

What made it special for me was the friendship amongst them..c an odd 6months or so are left of my college life..n i wana live it to the hilt..forget differences..just let loose. Also..im in delhi for some while for my internship. This time, i guess due 2 the abnormal chain of events back in bombay, I was more than looking forward to my time in dilli..back wid my chaddi buddies..celebrating my budday here after ages..had the works planned..but life does not always work according 2 wt u planned..i faced more than my share of losses..permanent and (i hope) temporary.

For the first time in my life, I felt out of control..everything slipping and..alone. Had never experienced it..guess 4 years of living out of home..the only isuue I have faced is privacy..:). But now I have attained enlightenment.. :). I realised, u cannot afford to lose control..coz if u do..everything falls apart..like it did for Joe. U cannot blame, u cannot survive blaming the people u love..u will never be at peace. Also u cannot escape it..ur life is hollow if u do..a part of u dies. Anyway as we grow, the child inside keeps diminishing..if so much of us keeps dying..what do we become?

I was hurt and angry and confused..and I am very capable of completely cutting ties and turning cold..but then its not worth it..coz a huge part of what u are is due to the people around u..if u compromise relationships..u compromise urself..and u lose urself.

The movie gave me hope..maybe ten years hence, my husband will throw a surprise budday party fr me..:P..like the birthday I planned this year 2 be. But more importantly, I thought u should forgive and be strong and face adversaries..yourself. Friends, family will always be there..but it is you who has to come to terms with events. And only when u see the little u have slipping away from u does the realization dawn. When dat dumb prachi desai left aditya..he was jolted. I guess that was required fr me too..sometimes something good comes out of a silly ego conflict. After losing two of my buddies, I was close to losing a third last sunday. That's when I realised..it has to stop somewhere..and it has..finally.

And about pursuing dreams..u should continue doing what makes u happy..despite ur boring work..look at me im writing dis siting in office.. :P. Thinking about it, not many people have a defined passion in life..those who do..should definitely not give up..

the most beautiful ballad from the movie summarizes it..

ye tumhari meri baatein

humesha yuhin..chalti rahein

ye humari mulakatein

humesha yuhin..chalti rahein

beete yuhi apne saare din raat

baaton se nikalti rahe...nai baat.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Love

I remember how it began
The innocent glances
The talks thru the night
The meaningless fights, The meaningful laughs
The candour, The ease
Guarded we were of unleashing our true self
But our eyes soon mastered reading one other well
When it developed, neither took note
Just a blissful feeling percolated the soul
The anxiety The hesitance
I remember it all
The gratification that permeated
When Realization dawned

Began a journey
Clandestine and Passionate
The ardour heightened,
By the necessitated secret
Unprepared and Undaunted
We ploughed on together
Experiencing the comfort of friendship with fervour
Young and Fearles
We held our own
Nurturing and Advising
The extension of one's own

Months passed, the secrecy ended at will
The knowledge bringing an abandon that thrilled
Heady was the concoction of camaraderie and passion
As we experienced love in every fraction
Gladly we bared mind body and soul
Till I became unvirginally yours
The journey had reached a point of no return
As i submitted more than I had yearned
Lying next to you the uncertainty plagued
The night welded into morn,
But uncertainty remained
I did not doubt my strength to plunge
But I did doubt my strength to endure
Morning dawned as u stirred, Reaching out, Hungry for more
"Don't", I said, "It Hurts"
Tenderly u caressed then, Gentler than Before

Abandoned I feel now, I wonder why
It seems u have disappeared, suddenly from my life
Please remind me, When it all began
The meaningful fights, The void of talks
The anger, The denial, The silent tears,
The discomfort and rejection, And the Heartburn
When it developed, I didn't take note
But the demons still plague me
Fiercer than before
A sinking feeling accompanies me now
The anger, The betrayal
I feel it all
"Don't", I said, "It Hurts"
But now the plea falls on deaf ears