handicap

yeah i kno i am overreacting..for ppl who dont know and still check my blog..i hv a cast and a crutch..left foot has a ligament tear..again.
the injury is back after 3 years..time for some background again..i had a ligament tear 3yrs ago..ws in bbay den too..1st year..dint pay much heed..n worsened it a lot..BUT ws still walking. nw d injury is back with a vengeance. AND im a dancer. of course i study too..i mean d mba tech i pursue is supposed 2 earn me big bucks(laugh!)..bt essentially im a dancer. dont know y im baring my soul on such a public forum..bt guess sumtimes d best of d ppl dont understand u..
yeah its only for 10 days..hopefully..of which 6 have passed (yay!). and IF d doc(grrr..i hate him!) removes my cast and i can stop my hop scotch..i still cant dance..d doc sed 3 weeks (with a hidden at least).
apart from d irony of depending on everyone 4 evrytin..cant catch an auto on my own..a good samaritan gets d rik 4 me n i hop on..thanks saket n sid..u guys hv alwaz been there! yeah so i ws sayin, apart 4m dat..tis dis nagging fear in my heart dat tis gonna b like last time..i dint dance fr an entire year..precautions+fear. and when i startd again i ws afraid i wont b as good as i was..i also suffer from a fragile ego and false pride.
i stay in d 3rd flr with no lift..so hv been putting up with my friends..n they have been more than tolerant to my tantrums..feels wonderful to have such great friends
the past 1year has been good in terms of my dance..ws offered instructorship, gave a show..ws pretty satisfied with the way things were..wanted to diversify u kno..i have a year n a half until my student life is up..throw in d training..n say 1 yr is wt i hv.at one level cant wait 2 earn..on another level..i know d rat race n wana b a very successful rat at that..so wanted 2 make d most of d student existence dat i possess. i wanted 2 learn as much as possible..revive jazz, learn belly dancing, master salsa n jive..mayb give a workshop or 2 for kids..
yeah i know i can still do it..i kno im sulking..i know am making a mountain of a molehill..but im scared. what if i cant dance for a year after this? my time is up..
n den of course..tis d eternal..y me? :P..
hmm..and i so hate depending on others..and d sympathy..im sorry if i offend anyone..bt iv alwaz been dis ultra independent person..n im not known for being patient or staying at a place..:)
ive handled dis really badly..which makes me feel even worse..
nw lets focus on d pros..i can use EB and make ppl work 4 me..no dancing..so no party on new year..so i save money..of course no going out so no showing off new dress and no dates either..bt we are focusing on pros now! apart frm dat guess d same old..u figure who ur 'real friends' are.
help is pouring in from some unexpected quarters..while some quarters have been surprisingly distant..and then there are some quarters where i permanently reside..(being rather sappy now)
anyways..am feeling decidedly better nw..thanx for reading me prattling on..